


The Falmouth Falcons Conundrum

by slytherco



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fanart, Getting Together, Gossip, Illustrated, M/M, Press Articles, Press and Tabloids, Quidditch, Quidditch Player Draco Malfoy, Quidditch Player Harry Potter, Secret Relationship, Snippets, The Daily Prophet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:33:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24445876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slytherco/pseuds/slytherco
Summary: A collection of The Daily Prophet snippets over the years after The Falmouth Falcons recruit a new Beater, one Draco Malfoy.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 48
Kudos: 750





	The Falmouth Falcons Conundrum

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't help but write a little oneshot for the art I made today. Now, I want to write a full snippet-based fic.
> 
> Find me on [Tumblr](https://slytherco.tumblr.com/post/619488868215980032/2005-the-falmouth-falcons-newest-acquisition)
> 
> [Art photo ref.](https://i.pinimg.com/474x/19/df/2b/19df2b72a9a5443151b27bcf4967636d.jpg)
> 
> As usual, [Bella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/onereader/pseuds/shealwaysreads) made sure this is readable. All credit goes to my Beta Angel.

_2005_

**The Falmouth Falcons’ newest acquisition!**

Falmouth’s resident Quidditch team has just announced a new member will be joining the team for the upcoming season. Draco Malfoy (aged 25), son of Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Malfoy (née Black), has taken the recently vacated position of Beater. For years, the Falcons have been struggling to find a long-term player to complete the team—some say the position is cursed, and for good reason. The second to last Falcons Beater, Benedict Soots, was found dead in his apartment two years ago (read about the new developments on the case on page seven) and the currently retiring player, Byron Aves, has fallen victim to an unfortunate accident. The circumstances are unknown to this day, but an anonymous source suggests that Dark Arts may have been at play.

Draco Malfoy, who is yet to shed some light on his unexpected career choice, seems unfazed by those rumours. However, whether the reason for his indifference is extraordinary courage or his well-known connections to the Dark Forces during the Second Wizarding War, remains unknown. 

The unlikely transfer has been widely commented upon by the wizarding society, especially due to to the fact Mr Malfoy will be playing shoulder to shoulder with the Chosen One, War Hero, and the Falcons’ star Seeker, Harry Potter (aged 25). Mr Potter has turned down our offer of an interview on the pair’s turbulent past and their obvious animosity over the course of their education in the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Our informant, who was present at the Falcons’ first practice with Malfoy, claims the two men were seen arguing on the pitch and had to be separated by their teammates.

The Falcons’ press spokesperson has refused to disclose the sum of gold for which the contract with Draco Malfoy has been signed.

* * *

_2006_

**Falmouth Falcons climb the ranks. Mayhem Malfoy and Potter the Untouchable take the lead**

The Falmouth Falcons have won game after game since Draco Malfoy (aged 26) has been accepted into their ranks—a true golden streak throughout the whole season. In last week’s semi-finals, Harry Potter caught the Snitch, defeating the Chudley Cannons, and earning the Falcons a whopping third place in the league for the first time in the last 37 years.

Potter wouldn’t have done it without the ever present help of Malfoy, whose beating skills have already sent seven different players to the bench over the course of the season, earning himself the title “Mayhem Malfoy”. 

Rue Lacework, the Falcons’ second Beater, has this to say: _“Malfoy’s good, all right? He’s a team player and we’re finally bloody winning something, so come off him.”_

Malfoy’s unusual strategy has become somewhat of an inside joke among the Falcons’ opponents, who have taken to calling the Falcons’ Seeker “Untouchable Potter”. Since joining the team, Malfoy’s bat has viciously targeted every single player who had fouled or otherwise wronged Potter on the pitch, in a way one would think seems almost personal.

The pair’s budding friendship has been a subject of speculation for quite some time. Anonymous sources claim to have seen the two men having dinner at several muggle restaurants and Mr Potter has been allegedly witnessed leaving Mr Malfoy’s flat on Diagon Alley under a Glamour spell in early morning hours last weekend.

_The Prophet has approached Potter and Malfoy’s teammates, however, in a show of astounding solidarity, all have refused to comment on this unlikely relationship._

We can only hope that in the end, the truth will prevail.

* * *

_2007_

**Potter and Malfoy relationship confirmed!**

A shocking development has been revealed during yesterday’s Annual Charity Quidditch Match when the Falmouth Falcons faced the Wimbourne Wasps. The match takes place to raise money for the noble cause of building a new Children’s Ward at St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. However, it is not the well-being of sick, magical children that will be the talk of wizarding Britain in the near future. 

For the last year, rumours about the Potter-Malfoy relationship have been flying. The notorious pair have consistently denied any speculations regarding their unusually close friendship and have refused to comment on its nature.

Jaws all around Britain dropped, however, when the Falcons walked out on the pitch yesterday, led by none other than the team sweethearts, Potter and Malfoy (aged 27), who walked out holding their brooms and... each other’s hands. 

The spectators let out a cacophony of whoops, shouts, and whistles when the two top-players shared what could only have been described as a true love’s kiss, before taking off into the sky, thus confirming their relationship.

Unfortunately, Mr Potter and Mr Malfoy were strongly against speaking with any of our reporters. Mr Ronald Weasley (spouse of esteemed Wizengamot Judge, Hermione Granger-Weasley, and Mr Potter’s best friend) has been heard shouting expletives at journalists inquiring about Mr Potter’s sexuality shortly after the match came to an end.

_Read on page 12: Announcing Rita Skeeter’s latest book: War Heroes of Today: What Their Parents Died For._

* * *

_2009_

**League Final like no other**

Puddlemere United win the British league! For the eleventh time in a row, Britain’s oldest Quidditch team (est. 1163) has taken the cup in an exciting match against the Falmouth Falcons. The talk of the day, however, was the ending of the final match, one that might just go down in history, and for a reason that has nothing to do with sports!

After accepting their trophy, the victorious team flew out once again, with their opponents in tow. Puddlemere and the Falcons took position and, against the regulations of 1456, used their wands on the pitch to create an array of fireworks over the stands. 

The legendary Falcons duo and Witch Weekly’s most influential power couple of 2007, 2008, and 2009, Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy (aged 29), joined their teammates in what initially looked like a victory lap. It soon turned out that Mr Malfoy had other plans. In what must have been a previously rehearsed affair, all the players’ fireworks formed the words “ _WILL YOU MARRY ME?”_ that floated in the sky, much to the spectators’ utter delight.

Hundreds of witnesses, who had had the foresight to bring their trusty Omnioculars, report seeing Mr Malfoy take out a ring box out of his pocket, nearly causing Our Saviour to fall off his broom. Potter didn’t need the broom after all when, seconds later, he was sitting on Malfoy’s and sharing what has already been deemed The Most Legendary Quidditch Kiss of All Time. As of today, there is no confirmation as to Mr Potter’s answer, however, this reporter wagers that the display could only have been interpreted as an enthusiastic _yes_. 

_Bachelorettes (and bachelors) of Britain—it’s official—the Dreamy Duo is taken! To dry your tears, next week in The Daily Prophet: The Updated List of Wizarding Britain’s Most Eligible Bachelors._

_The Daily Prophet would like to extend its sincerest congratulations to Mr Potter and Mr Malfoy on this joyous occasion and wishes them a long and happy life together._


End file.
